Tuesday, September 1, 2015

The New Age Terminator - Forwards

Amongst many social communication illnesses of the 21st Century –A ’Forward’ is the  deadliest – it is more powerful than the Plague or watching the  ‘Times Now’ evening TV debate. It attacks the common man very early in the morning and continues relentlessly through the day and all through the year. There is no known antidote to this as yet. To understand this phenomenon we must start at the very beginning. The person who sends the ‘Forwards’ is the almighty ‘Forwarder’. Every communication group, be it - Face book, what’s up or E Mail has one or two ‘Forwarders’.

The Forwarder is essentially a jobless but imaginative person with lots of free time on hand and no hobbies or any form of leisure to pursue. Forwarders are burdened with an incurable disease – ‘Forwarding’. This malady is present in both male and female members. The malady appears in all age groups – however the chance of contracting this illness is more likely as one approaches retirement.

Once declared a ‘Forwarder’, they are governed by a very strict code of conduct and obey all the rules and regulations of the club. They must send at least 20 forwards every day, including holidays .When the forwarder goes on a holiday or out of station or is sick in bed - this rule is slightly relaxed and he is allowed to dispatch a mere 15 forwards. At the very outset the ‘Forwarder’ is secretly told that the rest of humanity is full of ignoramus and buffoons, incapable of reading and assimilating any information on their own. So, it becomes his moral responsibility to educate the entire community around him. A social cause, so to say.

Each ‘Forwarder’ comes with a ‘Unique ID’ – some deal with social causes, others with the environment.  A few specialize in humor, whilst others are busy sending tantalizing photographs on sex. Some resort to religion and pathos - the list is endless– as one climbs the ladder, the ‘Forwarder’ is promoted and becomes an – ‘All Rounder’ – one who has the right to send ‘Forwards’ on any and every subject under the sun. 

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You may have noticed how varied and diverse these topics are.

I have friend of mine who was once a victim of ‘Forwarder Abuse’. The blighter not only sent the ‘Forward” but rang up my friend in the middle of the night to check whether he had received it and followed it with another call to confirm if he had read it.

It’s even more severe on FB. One has to deal with news concerning people you have no clue about – their birthdays, travel details, illness – what they are up to and what they are not up to. As if all this not enough, there are enough adverts to strangle you further.

Thank the Almighty Lord – I am not on Twitter

Please read this blog and I will be happy – I will be happier if you do not forward this to anyone.

And, just BTW my niece tells me whatsapp and FB are now passé!!!


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