Namby was ill at ease and very
uncomfortable with his new surroundings. He somehow could not pinpoint the
source of his discomfort. It had something to do with his retirement from the
army. Lt General Ramanathan Nambeesan SM, AVSM, PVSM and the LOH - Pushpawati
had recently arrived in Bangalore and settled down quietly in a colony built
for retired defense officers. Namby had shed his uniform and hung up his boots about
a week ago. Now sitting in a small patio sipping his morning chai, his mind started
to wander. Life in the army was good – fair mix of work, leisure and sports,
combined with a caring wife, constant love from the children and grand children;
all this had spoilt Namby. As Commander – in – Chief, he had led a charmed life.
Each day had unfolded on predictable lines. There was always a posse of people
around him to ensure things went right. Life was perfect.
The morning after moving into the
colony, Namby got up as usual and went for a long walk. Push had woken him up
early and told him to walk the dogs, a chore he had never done before. At first
he was very surprised that nobody recognized him and the usual hordes of
cheerful and bright ‘Good morning, sirs’ were absent. He muttered - ‘What an extremely
uncivilized colony!’ and continued his walk. Even more distressing was the fact
that he had to put his two Labradors - ‘Par’ and ‘Birdie’ on a leash. The labs
had been spoilt in the Army – running around the ‘Flag House’, chasing
squirrels, barking at anything that annoyed them ,being constantly petted by
junior officers and their ladies. P and B made it amply clear to the General
that these changed circumstances were totally unacceptable – they barked their
annoyance, ‘dogs do not retire’. They refused to do their potty. The old man, a
veteran of many battles was at a total loss. How does one solve such a vexing
problem? He could not go home and announce that P and B had returned without doing
their daily ‘Doggie Poo’. Push would certainly not like it. Once inside their
fortress, the general for all his 6ft height, weight and handle bar mustache,
ranked slightly lower than Push. He knew, ‘When push comes to shove’, LOH could
be really pushy. Junior officers sometimes wondered- was Namby, Pamby?
He came home and sat down to enjoy a
cup of hot tea. Force of habit of the last 40 years, he started to look for the
remote calling ‘Bell’ to ask ‘Bahadur’ to bring some tea. Push reminded him
there was no B or B and he had to get up and make himself tea as she was going
to Commercial Street with Bunty for shopping. The last time he had attempted to
make tea was in his 4th term ‘Rover Camp’ at the NDA some 40 years ago. All of a sudden, life
seemed gloomy and depressing.
Push on the other hand had got
acclimatized quickly to retired life. Unknown to the general, she had prepared
hard. She had spoken at length to Bunty to get her a good cook and a domestic help.
During her last visit to Bangalore she had selected these two life savers. In
addition, Bunty had taken the LOH around the colony and introduced her to all
the VVIPs - Dhobi, owners of vegetable, meat and grocery shops, plumber,
electrician and the Estate manager. LOH with all her tact, diplomacy and
remarkable ability for small talk had made a lasting impression.
Shanti the cook had come and
departed in a jiffy putting ‘Shatabdi Express’ to shame. The general had great
difficulty in operating the microwave to heat his breakfast. Muttering under
his breath, he said to himself, ‘I am a warrior not a ruddy technician’. Normally
the ADC would have come by now and briefed the general regarding all the
activities of the day. The Staff car would be waiting in the porch and he would
have left the house to run the army. Today was different; LOH gave him a list
of jobs to do – visit the Estate Office, vegetable shop and the bank. She told
him, ‘Darling, select the vegetables properly and at no cost take what he
gives’. He muttered, ‘I was running an army - you think I don’t know how to buy
some damned veggies?’ Unfortunately for the three starrer, LOH heard it and
added sternly, ’Anybody can run an army but selecting the correct vegetables is
an art that does not come easily’.
Deeply hurt with the statement, the
general gave his mustache a rebellious twirl and departed from the house to
face the first day of his retired life. As a general rule, the retired lot,
especially the males, find it extremely difficult to find ways to spend time
between post breakfast and lunch. They invariably become a nuisance at home and
are normally sent out on important domestic errands by their wives. Such
direction impaired and time challenged people have a remarkable ability to
congregate in public spaces. As the general walked past the Estate Office he
noticed a group of elderly people sitting by the library in animated
discussion. With a little trepidation,
he introduced himself and joined the gang. The debate was about the nutritional
value of jack fruit as compared to drum sticks. A retired doctor from the Air
Force was holding fort and expounding on the virtues of JF and reminded his
audience that it is rich in dietary fiber, which makes it a good bulk laxative.
Not to be out done, the navy Captain said ‘soup made from drumstick flowers,
boiled in milk, helps to cure sexual debility and is also useful in functional
sterility of both males and females’. The bald colonel sitting at a distance
was not at all amused and told the sailor he had no requirement for this soup.
The general found all this frivolous talk extremely irritating. He found the
entire proceedings bereft of any strategic depth or tactical content. More
annoyingly, he was not being consulted at all. In the normal course of events,
all discussion would have stopped on his arrival, people would stand up to
salute and the field would be left open for him to take control of the
discussions with everyone hanging onto his each and every word. He muttered
once again, ‘No respect for seniority’.
His visit to the Estate Office was
also very uncomfortable. He was very curtly ticked off by an old and grumpy
lady, ‘Can’t you see I am talking to the manager? Please wait your turn!’ He
muttered ‘Never again will I come here!’ The old lady continued her barrage and
pounded the poor manager with her water woes, as the General tottered out
unheard and unsung.
His whole life had been turned
upside down. The first day out was not at all encouraging – something had to be
done, he did not know what. That is when he saw Colonel Prakash waving at him
from a distance. He found a great measure of solace in sighting an old ‘Battle
Buddy’; it restored his faith in life and brought in a lot of cheer.
They returned home. The General poured
some chilled beer with a perfect head and said cheers to old times. The Colonel
was aghast to see the General all deflated - like a day old Christmas
decoration balloon. Prakash realized that he needed to restore the general
quickly to mint condition. He made several calls in quick succession and
announced to the General, ‘A four ball has been organized and we tee off
tomorrow at seven’.
The general for the first time in
the day, lit up. With his confidence restored he returned to his combative
self. He suddenly remembered the saying which he had stuck on his office table
- “One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle
of life. No matter what you shoot - the next day you have to go back to the
first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something.” Peter
Jacobsen
Well, he found he was ready to begin
again.
A fiction based on a
collection of different incidents.
