Dharwadkar was in a very pensive
mood. The lady of the house had long since decided that the liquor cabinet
would at all times remain locked and the key kept in her personal custody. In
the Royal Navy there was a tradition which dates back to well over 300 years; they
issued a daily ‘tot’ of Pusser's Rum to the crews of their ships - and always a
double issue before battle and after victory. It was first introduced into the
Navy in 1655. LOH was well versed with naval history and the local history had brought
in this procedure with a slight modification. Dharwadkar – Dharu for short was
allowed to indulge in ‘elbow bending’ once a week.
The sun was beginning to set and the
trees cast long shadows. As the evening progressed he realized it was Saturday
and it was his issue day.LOH was still in the kitchen participating in the making
of dinner by giving elaborate instructions to the cook.
Dharu tried his best to attract the
attention of his wife many times, but the lady refused to take the hint. He
enquired about her work, informed her about completing all the chores she had
entrusted him with before going for work. The fuse in the bedroom had been
changed, her passbook had been updated, all the plants had been watered, cuckoo
clock had been keyed and many such important errands had been successfully
completed. Precious time was being wasted and Dharu started to feel restless
and itchy. He did not want to force the issue any further than necessary as the
entire process could derail. ’Slow and steady’ was the strategy most likely to
succeed. In the normal course, the key to his happiness would have been in his
hand by now. He would have poured himself a stiff restorative and proceeded to
the balcony to sip the elixir and generally gaze at the open sky. But this Saturday
was different. The events leading up to this Saturday prevented him from being
more persistent and pursuing the issue.
A few days prior to the Saturday in
question, Dharu minus LOH had to proceed to Belgaum to attend a very
important family wedding. Initially he resented the idea but when he thought
about the overnight journey by train, a number of possibilities appeared in
front of him. A very close friend from his school days also decided to travel
with him. It was a double whammy. Once in the train, the duo started early –
talked about old times – and each tried to outdo the other in hospitality. As
the night progressed they shifted gears from happiness to pure exhilaration and
eventually retired to bed totally pickled.
The train reached its destination
very early in the morning. The idea of waking up and proceeding to the hotel
was a very unpleasant task. The twosome somehow made it to their rooms and once
inside fell fast asleep. Dharu was rudely woken up from his deep slumber when
the cell phone rang. He cursed loudly and in a fit of anger and frustration
threw the phone in the direction of the bathroom. The phone skidded into the
bathroom and Dharu went back to nurse his terrible hangover. While he slept
peacefully, by an act of the ‘wind god’ the bathroom door closed – permanently
masking the ring of the cell phone. Dharu slept like a child with a silly
smile, making unintelligible gurgling noise at regular intervals.
At 7:30 AM the older sister of the
LOH along with her teenage daughter reached the marriage hall. They were
anxiously waiting outside in a car to take possession of a velvet box sent by
the LOH to her sister through Dharu. It contained a lovely pearl necklace,
matching bangles and ear rings hand crafted by a reputed jeweler in Bangalore.
These were to adorn the beautiful neck of the teenager. There was no sight of
the carrier pigeon and time was ticking away. The older relative could not
fathom why the piegon was not present in spite of having reached Belgaum at 5
AM. When the wait became unbearable she rang up the LOH and told her of the
missing link. LOH normally known for her calm and composure, literally flew of
the handle and started making frantic calls to Dharu. The phone kept ringing.
LOH’s once stoic personality was quickly giving way to fear and anger. What would
the relatives say? How would the girl face their piercing eyes? And above all
where was Dharu and why was he not answering the phone?
As calamity struck Bangalore and Belgaum,
Dharu was stirring in his bed unable to focus and recall the events of the
night with any degree of clarity. At first it was difficult to comprehend what
he was doing in a strange place. He got up from the bed and proceeded
unhurriedly towards the bathroom. That is when the abandoned cell phone on the
ground attracted his attention. Bending down and picking up a small item was a
very difficult task requiring precession and balance. He picked it up with
great difficulty and saw there were 17 missed calls. That is when the entire
universe opened and the wall on the clock told the tale – it was 5 past 10.
The rest is a very embarrassing
narrative, which no true fellow reveler would like to read or as in my case,
want to reveal.
With this reputation, Dharu was in
no position to ask the LOH for the keys on this Saturday.
