I do not know where to begin. Maybe
I should go back to 2002, when I first came to know that my daughter Akhila was
dating Anirban Das Blah. I thought, ‘Here comes trouble; Later on in 2003, I
met Anirban’s younger brother Indranil and I am reported to have muttered under
my breath, ‘Here comes double
trouble’. So, I have known ‘Indranil’ for a very long time – a man of few
words, at times reticent, always affectionate and forever respectful; in short,
a very likable person. All along, he was a bachelor to boot, with a cool job
and an even cooler bachelor pad. I often referred to him as "Bertie
Wooster". All those foot loose and fancy free days had to come to an end,
sometime or the other and it did, when Indranil, happening to look in the right
direction, fell for a very pretty, bright and charming girl called ’ Disha’ .
On second thoughts, the title of this blog should have been ‘Indranil clean bowled’.
Marriages are made in
heaven
Indranil and Disha celebrated their
wedding on 6th Dec 2013.It was not quite so simple though. The
preparations started many moons ago in the Blah and Bhavsar household. Everyone
from the 2B family circle joined hands to make the occasion a memorable event.
The bride’s father Ashok Bhavsar and Akhila were pivotal in organizing the
wedding. Akhila with her childhood military grooming and a flair for organizing,
treated the entire event as an Army Commander would treat a military manoeuvre.
Under the title of ‘Disha becomes a Blah’
a number of check off lists were made to
ensure nothing was left to chance – Transport requirement, airport transfer, guest
list, menu for each function, wardrobe for events, individual responsibilities
etc – every aspect of the wedding had a when, who and how tag attached.
Within the 2B family unit there was
a confluence of many religious and social traditions; a variety of customs and
traditions originating from Gujarat, Meghalaya, Assam and Bengal were amply
evident in all the wedding ceremonies. Throughout the three day affair they
managed to strike a balance between religious ceremonies and youthful antics.
In the final analysis it was a sacred union, under an umbrella of gaiety, fun
and frolic. Every individual fostered this mood.
A large posse of kith and kin from
the 2B circle made it a point to attend the wedding and bless the couple. The
entire staff of CAA KWAN was there to lend support and join in all the revelry.
One aspect which stood out very loud and clear is the excellent network of
friends painstakingly developed over a long period of time by both, Anirban and
Indranil. They were all there from different corners of the country and the globe
to attend the festivities. A heartwarming development indeed. Their presence
added a special flavour to all the proceedings. The mood throughout was one of
bonhomie. To further charge the already electrified air – a number of Bollywood
celebrities graced the functions.
Without a doubt, the most handsome
people in the wedding were Indranil and Disha with their nephews Ayaan, Agastya
and Aarin in their colour coordinated outfits coming a very close second.
The run up to the wedding was one
great ball. The Blah home had all the ingredients of a ‘Marriage Transit Camp’ – hordes of people, endless cups of coffee
and tea, breakfast till 12 noon, a constant flow of visitors, the endless ring
of cell phones, permanently occupied toilets, blaring music, dance rehearsals,
dormitory arrangements for sleeping and so on. The endless cacophony was amply
mitigated by unlimited flow of ‘Laphroaig’
– kind courtesy of my son in law. To
quote “The pungent, earthy aroma of the blue peat smoke, the sweet nuttiness of
the barley and the delicate, heathery perfume of Islay’s streams,” more than
ensured that I slept well through the night. I had been given the task of
taking the children to the park in the evenings and making them sleep after
lunch – a very enjoyable task indeed. 3rd and 4th
December were spent in last minute preparations, visits to beauty parlors,
canteen, departmental stores and dance rehearsals late into the night etc.
The whole house was rearranged to
accommodate a 90-strong guest list for the traditional Assamese ritual ‘Juroon’. And ‘Mehndi’, on 5th December. Due to logistical imperatives the Blah
home momentarily become the bride’s house and Juroon was held in the house. Juroon
is a very interesting, fun filled pre-marriage ceremony carried out before the
wedding. This ritual is performed by women. Here the groom's mother visits the
bride's house accompanied by close relatives and friends. The groom’s mother
gifts the bride her bridal trousseau, including an odd number of pairs of
Mekhela Chadar (traditional Assamese female attire) a complete make up kit (whoa!),
gold ornaments etc. Once they reach the bride's house the groom's mother is
welcomed by the bride's mother at the entrance with a XORAI or BOTA in her
hands which contains tamul-paan covered by a Gamosa.
In many Hindu weddings, it's
traditional to have a Mehndi party before the wedding. Artists use a paste made
from dried henna leaves to paint intricate patterns on hands (and sometimes
also feet) of the bridal party. The bride gets the most intricate patterns, to
set her apart. It is believed that henna gives blessings, luck, and joy,
although it is also seen as a beauty enhancer. Some brides get their future
spouse's initials hidden into their Mehndi design. In our case Indranil got a
‘D’ in a heart mehndied on his palm.
As the Mehndi dried and the stars
glittered, the guests were treated to really tasty Kashmiri fare. Amongst the many
delicacies, what caught my taste and imagination were - Rogan Josh, Tabak Maaz -
Lamb ribs with turmeric, cinnamon and
saffron, Chicken Yakhni , Phirni for desert and finally Kashmiri Tea- Qahwah ;very tasty and
authentic Kashmiri food indeed.
The wedding was solemnized on the
lawns of the ‘Army Officers’ Institute’, Juhu Mumbai on 6th December
followed by a reception. The spacious outdoor setting with tall trees and well
mowed lawns was ideal for the wedding. The weather was very supportive and all
were at ease. The ‘Baraat’ arrived at sharp 4 pm and all of us were made to
wear a dark pink Pagdi as against a light floral Pagdi for the bride’s side.
The Gujarati wedding ceremony is a derivative of the traditional ‘Vedic’ marriage. It starts with Var Ponke wherein the bride's mother
welcomes the groom and his 'Baraat' at the entrance of the wedding venue.
Before the groom can enter the premises, he is made to step on a 'Bajat' (low
stool) where the bride's mother performs the traditional 'Aarti' for the groom,
applies the 'Kunkhu' (vermilion) and rice 'Tikka' on his forehead. The bride's
mother places a clay pot filled with rice on the ground and the groom breaks it
before entering the wedding 'Mandap'. The groom is thereafter led to Mandap and
made to sit on a low stool for the ceremonies. This is followed by worship of
the ‘Kalasha’ - a copper pot filled
with water. Mango leaves are placed in the mouth of the pot and a coconut is
placed over it. The Kalasha is believed to contain amrita, the
elixir of life, and thus is viewed as a symbol of abundance, wisdom, and
immortality.
As the guests waited eagerly, the
bride's 'mama' (maternal uncle) escorted Disha to the 'Mandap' for the ‘Varmala’. This was followed by Kanya Agamana. In this ritual, the
bride and groom exchange garlands at the marriage altar in front of the sacred
fire. Her maternal uncle accompanies the bride to the altar and a small screen
is placed between her and the groom. Amidst chanting of mantras, the screen is
lowered and the couples exchange their garlands. Indranil and Disha garlanded
each other in accordance with ancient Vedic customs, to demonstrate their free
choice and acceptance of each other.
'Juta
Churai' was next to
follow. During this ritual, the bride's family members try to steal the groom's
shoes, only to be returned much later for a fee which is negotiated amidst much
laughter and bargaining. Very regrettably the bride’s party with utmost cunning
and stealth stole the groom’s shoes from Indranil’s car. I understand a
princely sum of INR 5000 was handed over for the shoes. The groom’s defense
strategy was very ‘shaky’ to say the
least.
This was followed by an elaborate
reception with drinks and dinner. The food once again was excellent with
Chicken Zafrani, Mutton Tawa stealing the show, amongst other items on the menu.
Majority of the invitees knew each
other and the remaining struck a happy chord with the barman. In all, everyone looked
happy and contented.
We had to check out of the army
premises exactly at 12 midnight – none of us wanted to be turned into a
pumpkin. The Vidaai marks the exit
of the bride from her parental home and her arrival into the groom's family. It
also marks the beginning of a new life, with new people and relations.
According to the custom, the bride's brother accompanies her till the exit of
the home along with relatives and gives her hand to her husband.
Next morning
Disha came home for the first time as a ‘Bahu’ - daughter in law. Her arrival
marked yet another ritual ‘Ghar Ni
Laxmi’. The groom's family welcomes the bride to her new home. The bride is
considered as Goddess Lakshmi, who brings wealth and good luck to the family.
As a ritual the bride is asked to knock off a vessel with rice grains as she
enters her new home. The happiest smile was on PK and Rita’s face – the groom’s parents.
This was
followed by Aeki Beki which is an
excellent tradition, wherein the couple joins the entire groom’s family to play
a few innocent games. This breaks the barrier and sets in an easy ambiance. A
ring is hidden in a vessel filled with rice. The bride and the groom are asked
to play the game and whoever finds the ring in a maximum number of occasions is
considered as the winner and declared ruler of the house. If my memory serves
me right, Indranil found the ring.
In the
next game both Indranil and Disha were blind folded. The women in the house
were made to stand in a row and Indranil was asked to feel the palm of the
ladies and recognize Disha’s palm. Lo and behold, Indranil got it wrong and
selected Kshama’s hand instead. In the next turn all the men stood in a line
and bang on, Disha homed on to Indranil with utmost confidence and certainty. Well
done D.
In the
evening 0f 7th December we all closed up at the Juhu Club Millennium
for Sangeet. Normally this is a fun
filled evening which takes place prior to the wedding, but in this case it
followed the wedding. All the ingredients which go to make a successful Sangeet
were there. Blah and Disha’s friends had prepared for this function from a long
time. Vijay and Dhruv took the lead and unfolded Sangeet in a truly
professional manner. There was a PPT on the childhood days of the couple with
tongue in cheek remarks, speeches by the bride’s father, grooms mother and
brother. However the best oratory went to 6 year old Ayaan when he said ‘I must declare that the couple is one of the best couples in the whole world’. The Bollywood dance sequences put up by the FOBAD
(friends of Blahs and Disha) were truly amazing. The irony of it all was not
lost on the people present – specially the Bollywood celebrities who at times
approved the dances and at times put thumbs down.
In all ‘Disha Becomes a Blah’ was a memorable
event. I am sure; all the invitees went back with sweet memories. This was one
of those weddings which focused on creating a platform to correctly showcase how
a wedding ought to be – a right mix of rituals, traditions, customs and expression
of happiness in the union of two souls.
We all
wish Indranil and Disha a very happy and long married life.
If you
have managed to read the blog up to here – please spare some time and enjoy
viewing the photographs
